your room smells of hookers.
And success
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
