good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He did a backflip because drugs
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize