shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
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I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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