WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
