You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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