everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
