I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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