I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
