i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
