you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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