I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
