oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
