Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
