I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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