he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
