i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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