think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
do nipples grow back?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
