sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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