I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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