So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
