Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
