So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
