You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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