everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize