when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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