yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
