matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
