I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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