my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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