I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
