Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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