I cannot find my penis.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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