U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
