My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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