Don't make out with my wife yet
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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