Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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