Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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