Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
