having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
