why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize