hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
