dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
