We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
