If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize