he referred to my room as the tit cave...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
