i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
