Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
