I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize