Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
