I am puke
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
