Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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