she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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