literally had 100 drinks last night.
that's an acceptable place to lick
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
