it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
