Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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