you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize