when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
